Just a note-this is note real life, just fiction. This is definitely not on past experiences either.
Enjoy.
Letters to a boyfriend
I walked down the aisle nervously. People were staring at me. I held Sam tighter to me, took a packet of biscuits off the shelf and hurried to the counter.
Had they never seen a teenage mum before? It wasn’t my fault. I miss you.
Letter #1
Dear K,
I remember the very first time I saw you. You were standing against a desk, with your friends, laughing about things. You had a girl beside you.
I had just moved to Salen. It was a whole new place for me. A new country, new town, new home, new school. But I didn’t have am mum. I had a new mum. A new family too.
But I walked into homeroom, and sat down silently at a desk.
Suddenly, the room was quiet and half the people in it were looking at me. I looked around quickly and nervously, fiddling with my books.
You were the only one that smiled, before everyone went back to talking about everything.
Yes, I was the strange one, with brown hair and normal face, not pretty at all compared to the girls in the homeroom.
The bell rang and everyone slowly moved t their seats.
You sat down, right in front of me, still talking, and didn’t look.
Why would you, though, I mean, I’m just the new girl, who suddenly turned up in your homeroom, who sits behind you.
The teacher walked in, and I opened the school diary, to figure out where my next class was.
“All right, class. Quieten down now, you silly sods. Right, so now that it’s down to a dull roar, I’d like to introduce our new student, Katie, who has just recently moved over to our town, and school. I hope you all welcome her well.”
That was all the teacher said, before starting to talk about how you shouldn’t litter, or smoke on the grounds, and please don’t back talk to the teachers this year, or we would lose more than two teachers.
The bell ran again and I slowly left the classroom, staring at the map that sat flat on my books that I was holding.
I think it was English that I was heading to, and suddenly, someone spoke.
“That way.”
I was actually surprised that someone would point me the right way, especially if it was you, who had a girl hanging off your arm.
“Sorry?” I asked, surprised.
“Room 48 is down that corridor,” he said.
“Oh. Thanks,” I said before he walked on, the girl on his arm frowning at me, as if I was endangering her position.
I walked away, my head ducked, until I bumped into someone.
“Oh, sorry!” I exclaimed, helping the boy pick up his books.
“No problem. Hey, you’re new!”
“Yeah,” I sighed, “It’s written all over my forehead, isn’t it?”
Then he did something funny. He rubbed at my forehead with his sleeve, and grinned.
”Not anymore.”
I smiled and he looked at my timetable.
“You’re in my class!”
“I am?”
“Miss Wright-worth is horrible. I’m Matt.”
“Katie.”
“With a ‘y’ or ‘ie’?”
“ ‘ie’.”
“Nice. How long have you been here for?”
“About half an hour, but in this town? Two days.”
“Where did you come from?”
“Well, my Mum died last summer from cancer, so my dad took me over to my step-mum. She’s ok, but I didn’t want to go to a new school. I had friends enough back at my school,” I said.
So first day of school wasn’t too bad, and I met up with a few people, and made one friend: Matt.
Love, Katie
Letter #2
Dear K,
The first dance or party I went to was Catherine Spellen’s, and it was there that everything started to happen.
The only reason I was invited was because Catherine wanted lots of presents.
So I went along, and sat quietly on the side until I saw Matt walk in.
I practically ran up to him, and smiled.
“Hey, Katie, you’re here too?”
“Yes. Catherine invited me,” I admitted.
I was about to say that she only invited me for presents when she walked over, and kissed Matt on the cheek.
I watched, concerned, as he turned his head and kissed her back on the cheek.
She giggled, before a taller student from one of my classes walked over, and pushed Matt away.
“Who said you could kiss my girlfriend?!”
“If she’s offering…”
“She wasn’t, punk, so don’t,” the man said before swinging a punch.
Someone pulled me back, as I had been standing right beside Matt, and I turned.
“You don’t want to stand too close, when Elliot starts a fight, or you get hauled in,” he said with a smile.
“Thanks.”
“I’m Kane.”
“Katie.”
“You’re new, right? The teacher introduced you at homeroom,” Kane said.
“Yes.”
“Where did you come from?”
“Two countries over.”
“Wow, that must have been cool.”
“It wasn’t. My mum had died,” I said.
“Oh, sorry,” you said. And the way you said it made it sound like you were genuinely sorry, and later I found out you were.
“Kane, who is this girl? You’re not meant to be talking o others,” the girl I had seen on his arm a while ago said as she walked up.
“I’m not a prisoner, Kelly. I can talk to who ever I want,” Kane sighed.
“I’ll go.”
“You don’t have to.”
“You do,” Kelly said angrily.
I nodded and walked away from them over to the punch table.
As I got a glass of punch, I saw two things. Matt swinging Elliot a pretty good-looking punch, and Kane walking away from Kelly, out of the room.
After a moment, she turned and almost hissed at me.
It was then that I decided I’d better go home.
So I left, and almost ran down the street to get away from the party that had fighting guys, girls having sex in the toilet, and angry girlfriends.
I was halfway down the road, pulling my jersey on, when a hand caught me.
I gasped in surprise, and spun, then sighed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Kane said.
“That’s ok.”
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
“…Look, it’s not like I don’t like your girlfriend, it’s just she doesn’t like me, and when you left…”
“She’s not my girlfriend. At least, not any more,” Kane said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Look, I’ve got to walk home, and be there before dark…”
“I can walk you home,” Kane said.
“Oh. Thanks.”
“You know, it’s so hard to find a girlfriend who doesn’t use you to show off. I mean, at the start,” Kane said after a while, “Kelly was nice, and absolutely adored me, but then it kind of grew out, and she started using me, and my popularity, to get to thins\gs, like Catherine’s party.”
“Yeah. My boyfriend did that to me.”
“You have a boyfriend?”
“What? No! No, that was back in my town. No I broke up with him almost half a year ago,” I said.
We were walking slowly, because I was wearing heels, and we felt like it.
“Yeah. T’s horrible to be used like that, especially when you thought you meant so much to them,” Kane said as they walked through the park. He sat down on the swing closest and started swinging.
I looked at the time, and I knew that I’d have enough time.
I sat down on the other swing, kicked my heels off, and started swinging.
“What’s it like, moving to a different country?”
“Well, it doesn’t even feel like I’ve moved, because it’s the same language. I don’t even think it was two countries. More like, one,” I said as I reached up to the sky with my toes.
”So, this is all new for you?”
“Yeah. Parties, and what they do in the toilets,” I sighed.
Kane laughed.
It sounded so nice, his laugh. Like butter.
“Do you think there’s a difference between guys using girls or girls using guys?” Kane asked.
“Yes. Majorly.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, from my point of view, girls use guys to get higher social status, and guys use girls, just for sex,” I said softly, looking at my lap.
”Like your boyfriend?” Kane asked.
I nodded, before sniffing, stopping the swing and grabbing my heels.
I tried to balance as I put one on at a time, and I felt Kane holding my steady.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, letting him hold me up as I finally got my first heel on, then the other.
“You’re ok, you know, Katie,” he said.
I looked at him, confused and he smiled.
“What do I mean, you probably want to know. Well, I mean you’re ok for a friend. You’re honest, and quiet, which makes you easy to talk to, and you’re kind,” Kane said as we walked on.
The night had grown colder and darker by then, and I walked a little closer to Kane, just to be safe.
“What did your boyfriend do?” Kane asked quietly.
After a while, we I didn’t answer, Kane spoke up again.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
’I’m just trying to figure out how to tell it. Let’s see. Mark was kind, like all at the start, and he liked the moments we had together. But when I wasn’t giving enough, he grew angry. He invited me over for a movie one night, and he had lied. He…”
Then I started crying. I had stopped. You just pulled me into your arms and held me, comforting me as I cried. I wasn’t just crying about how stupid guys can be, or how mean they are, but for my Mum, who I missed so much, and because I hadn’t cried in a long time.
After a few minutes, wiped my eyes with a tissue, wiping the mascara was wearing off, before sniffing.
“Sorry to break down like that,” I mumbled.
“That’s ok. You don’t have to tell me everything.”
“That’s ok though, because I managed to hit him with my bag, before running off. But that’s not something that heals over night. The fact that your boyfriend, who you thought cared for you, like Kelly, tried to rape you, is hard enough to accept. That’s what it was, and I was so scared to face him for weeks.”
“And I thought my situation was bad,” Kane said as they walked on.
“Well, thanks for walking me home,” I said as we reached my door.
“That’s ok, Katie. I’m sorry about Mark.”
“Thanks. You too, about Kelly,” I added.
That’s when you leaned forward and kissed me quickly and softly on the mouth.
“Bye, Katie,” he said, before walking away.
I stood there on the front porch for a while before walking in, to confront my dad, and explain why I was home early, and why I hadn’t called him.
Love, Katie
Letter #3
Dear K,
From then, I remember, we were good friends, and then you started going out with another girl. I remember that, because you asked me for advice.
“If you like a girl, and you think she likes you, do you think you should ask her out?” Kane asked while we walked home one day.
”Sure, if you’re sincere enough,” I said honestly.
“Thanks, Katie. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Sure. Bye!” I said as he crossed the road to go home by another road, as we both lived in different directions and eventually he would have to walk another way.
The next day, he ha a girl on his arm in home room, who left when the bell rang.
I couldn’t help feeling sad, because you were with another girl, and I liked you, maybe a little too much.
And then I noticed, during the few classes I had with Sammy, that she was flirting with other guys. And then I saw her walking with another guy, a few days later, past one of the buildings and around to the back.
I was curious, because I didn’t want you getting hurt, so I followed.
They were kissing.
The hardest thing to do is tell your best friend that their girlfriend is cheating on them.
I did try though.
“Kane! There you are. I was looking for you,” I said one day, catching up to him in the hallway.
“What’s bitten you?”
“You know Sammy?”
“Yes, I do. She’s my girlfriend. What kind of question is that?”
“Well, I don’t think she’s loyal.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw her go off behind a building with another guy.”
“So? They could have been talking.”
“They were kissing,” I said.
“Sammy wouldn’t do that, Katie.”
“Well, she has,” I said, before Kane shook his head.
”You know, you’re just jealous. You’re just jealous that I have someone and you don’t, Katie, and that’s pathetic.”
“I don’t care if I have a boyfriend. All I care about is what happens when you find out the girl you like is two timing you.”
“Keep out of our relationship, Katie. We’re fine,” Kane growled, before walking away.
So I made a plan.
That day, when Sammy and Michael walked out behind a building, I made sure they were well into their kissing before running to find you.
“Katie, what?” was what you started to say, as I dragged you along.
“I don’t care if you never talk to me again, or never walk me home or help me with my maths, but I don’t lie, and you need to know that,” I said before pushing him past the corner of the building.
He saw Sammy and I left. I had done what I needed to do.
As I was walking home that day, I heard you running up behind me, and then you grabbed my arm.
“Katie?” you asked, concerned when I didn’t smile or greet you.
Instead, I pulled my arm away gently and continued walking.
“Oh, shit, Katie I’m sorry,” Kane said softly, walking beside me.
“That’s ok. I was never good at keeping friends for too long. You can leave me be,” I mumbled, before you grabbed my arm and stopped me all together.
“Katie, I’m sorry, and I should have realized that what you said was true, because you’re my best friend, and best friend’s don’t lie.”
“No, they don’t,” I said softly.
“I don’t want to lie either, Katie.”
“You haven’t.”
“I have though, in saying that you’re my friend.”
That was when I realized you didn’t want me as a friend. I shrugged, and turned my head away. Being friend’s with a boy wasn’t that easy any way.
“But I’d be lying if I said I only liked you as a friend. I really like you Katie.”
You said it. You practically said that you loved me, right then and there. And then you backed it up with a great kiss. It was so good, and I’d never felt that way before.
Love, Katie
Letter #4
Dear K,
So you and I were going out, and we were an item, which wasn’t making Sammy or Kelly happy, though you had forgotten them by now.
Only, we had something special. We both cared for each other, and it was loike, well, we were newly weds, only forever.
We would spend hours just kissing, if we had the time, and then it started getting more and more…caring.
And I wasn’t scared, like some girls would, and I wasn’t hesitant, like other girls, because by then I knew I cared for you enough to love you.
That’s when it happened.
I got sick. I was throwing up, and everyday, you came to visit me, despite my dad and step mum saying it could be contagious, even my stepbrother feeling grossed out by me.
It was almost four days after I’d starting feeling sick that I really needed to talk to you. I wasn’t sick; I knew that, so I went to the park, where we met.
It was quiet, so no one was around when I saw you coming towards the swings, where I was pushing my self gently, forward and back with my feet.
“Katie, are you sure you’re ok?” you asked. It was so nice of you, when uou asked.
”I’m not sick. I know what it is,” I said. I was actually scared and frightened of how to tell you and how you would react.
“What’s wrong then?”
“I’m going to have a baby,” I finally said in one breath.
I looked at you, and you were practically frozen, looking at me in surprise.
“What do you mean?” you asked slowly.
“I’m pregnant.”
And then you left. Well, you stood there for a few minutes, in silence, before walking away.
I was too heart broken to follow you. I mean, had you just broken up with me, or had you just stormed off? I didn’t know. I was confused.
Love, Katie
Letter #5
Dear K,
The next day, or few days, when I saw you at school, you wouldn’t talk to me, at all.
It was horrible. You just walked past me without a word and others around me thought that we were over. I didn’t even know what was going on.
At lunch break, I was so upset, that I went to the far end of the field, away from where we usually sat together, and sat by a bush, out of view, crying.
Pathetic. I cried over a boy, while a baby inside me grew. A living thing.
And I thought you had abandoned me.
It was Thursday that I was walking home, past the park, when I saw you. By then I had given up. I strode up to you, and said six words, six powerful words, that actually made you look up in surprise.
“I’m going to have an abortion.”
You just stared, almost in horror or surprise, I don’t know, but you stared.
“Then you don’t have to panic, or care, and we can go separate ways,” I said sadly, before a tear fell. I hated that. I showed how sad I was, how emotional I was. So I practically ran out of the park, and home.
Dad asked me what was wrong when I burst into the house, and ran to my room.
Gosh, I couldn’t even tell my dad, and step mum.
But I told Mum. I’m sure she would have been ok with it. I can’t see her saying weird stuff, like, “Oh, my gosh, that’s it, Katie. You’re going to that home for pregnant girls, right now, and you’re not coming back!”
Friday. I remember that day well. Perhaps too well.
I was walking to school, kicking a stone along, and figuring out how I could take the money needed for the abortion out of the bank without my dad finding out, when I looked up and saw you walking towards me.
You were about fifty metres away, down the road, and you had never, in our few months, walked me to school. We met there, because you had to be early for sport’s practice.
And you were walking towards me.
“Katie!”
I was scared. I’ll admit it. I looked away, almost blushing, trying to hide my face.
“Katie, I’m sorry. But please, don’t have an abortion.”
“What?”
Now I was as surprised as you were when you heard about it.
“Don’t kill it. I know you wouldn’t want to, and you were doing it for me, but it’s ok. Cause…I’ve been thinking lots, and that’s why I’ve been keeping away from you. I really want to help, and as a Christian, it’s against my religion to kill a baby,” you tried to explain.
“You don’t want me to kill it, but you still want me to have it and put it up for adoption?”
“No! No, I want you…us, to keep it.”
“Us?!”
“Yes. Us, together.”
“Wow. Wow, that’s big, Kane. Really big, I mean this is a baby, a live baby that cries and eats lots and wakes you up at three o’clock in the morning, just because it’s hungry,” I tried to protest.
“No. I won’t let you. This is my fault, partially, and so it’s my responsibility, and if that means I have to quit cricket to care for you, and save up for a car or a flat, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“You…you’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”
“Every minute. I don’t want us to regret it for the rest of our lives. This is something big, Katie,” Kane said softly.
You said it so nicely and I was absolutely gobsmacked. I didn’t think you’d do that.
I was so happy, that I kissed you right then and there on the street, and then we walked to school, hand in hand.
Love, Katie
Letter #6
Dear K,
Time passed slowly for us, and you became not only my best friend and boyfriend, but also something more. I really cared for you. And I guess you really cared for me, and our baby.
I was two months into the pregnancy, the pregnancy that only you and I knew about, when it happened.
We were walking in town, and I was about to catch my bus home, while you went to a mate’s place. You gave me a kiss and a hug, just before I was to cross the pedestrian crossing.
I smiled at you, before stepping onto the road.
“Katie!”
Suddenly, I was flying through the air, and had landed on the road, still on the pedestrian crossing. I gasped and sat up, before turning, my eyes wide with horror.
Where I’d been standing moments earlier, you were lying, unconscious and bleeding, in front of a bus.
“Kane!”
I screamed. Louder than I’d ever done in my whole life. I ran to you, and cradled your head in my hands; I remember that much of what happened. And then you opened your eyes.
“Katie, you ok?”
“I’m ok, Kane,” I stammered. Stupid boy. Why care for me first, when a large bus had just hit you?
“Hold on, don’t let go. An ambulance should be here soon,” I begged you.
You smiled, and nodded.
My hands were trembling throughout the ride to the hospital. You just lay there silently as the man bandaged your bleeding head, and checked you over.
Then when we got to the hospital, they left me with you while they went to get a doctor.
“Katie, if I don’t make it…”
“You will.”
“They said something about internal bleeding, Katie. In my head.”
“Please, don’t say that. Don’t leave me alone with the baby.”
We were only in high school, and we were to be parents. That’s tough, especially when only two people knew.
The next day, only one person knew. You had died. Gone into a coma, and left me alone. I couldn’t stop crying for a month, and then I cried another month for our baby. I wasn’t going to kill it, that I knew. I was going to keep it, for you, for us, for my mum, for anybody.
Because I loved you.
Love, Katie
Letter #7
Dear K,
Two years have passed since you died. Well, two years since Sam was born. She had your eyes, which made me want to get rid of her. But that’s what stopped me. She was ours, and she was mine.
So I walked down an aisle one day, sent to get biscuits, and I saw people staring at me. Yes, I had a baby when I was seventeen, and yes, I had unprotected sex, but I did it with someone I cared about.
You.
I love you, Kane. I miss you, and I’m sure Sam does too.
I wish you had been with me when she was born, there when Dad and my stepmum found out that I was pregnant. I needed you.
That’s whats made me strong. Knowing that you’re there beside me and Sam, watching us, protecting us, like you protected us two years ago.
All I know, Kane, is this; I’m a mum. I’m nineteen. I loved you. You died. And I’m not alone.
Love, Katie
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